Don’t think that I’ll be posting this regularly-
it just so happens that this post at Verily, Victoria Vocalises struck a chord.
More precisely, a gong.
When something hits you smack bang in the face & compels you to respond. Quite like the clarion call of an early rising child in our household; ..’Mum, mum, mum, MUM, MUMMMM.. in ever increasing decibel levels’.
Except this is different. This one’s from the heart.
I’m not for writing prose, in fact- I don’t think I have since secondary school. I do love words. I could sit all day typing. Aside from the fact I’ve a squillion jobs to do and would probably end up with RSI, I’d happily wax lyrical (if I understood exactly what that entailed!).
Victoria’s prose is beautiful and heartfelt and if you read her post, is in reponse to a really tragic situation that I too learned about on Twitter earlier this week. Whilst I couldn’t attempt to do what she has done, I have a different angle. My heart yearns for his family. I’ve trod in similar shoes.
Not the same. I wouldn’t be arrogant enough to say I understand.
I can’t – it’s never the same. But, losing a child is something that joins you to a club- a unique, exclusive band of wounded souls that you never wanted to join, but thankfully reach out to those ‘others’ that have a inkling how you feel.
So, I’m thinking of his parents and family.
It started as an ordinary day.
No-one ever imagined it would be anything otherwise.
A meeting with their friend.
The meeting ended with the shortening of his life.
An ending that signals the beginning of a new journey.
A new path.
A slow and hard walk that will demand all of their strength.
It will take them to places they never wanted to go & surprise them by the love of others.
Friends will be made & changed.
Memories suddenly become all the more precious. A struggle to remember them all.
Some will be written down. Some encapsulated by camera.
Strive to remember. Talk. Share.
Their wider family and friends will need to listen & be patient.
Letting them cry, letting them shout. Allowing them space and silence.
Space to grow stronger together.
Together through the tragedy.
They will come through. They can make it.
They will be irrevocably changed. Lessons forged indelibly in the furnace of grief.
It’s not all without hope.
Spring is coming.
They may just have wait & be kind to themselves. Patiently allowing themselves to grieve and heal.
Watch out for them.
Pray for them.
Care for them.
Don’t be embarrassed by their silences.
Ask them if they want to talk.
You cannot increase their pain by talking about the one they’ve lost. You can diminish a little of their anguish by remembering with them.
They want to know that you haven’t forgotten.
They never will.
Not even for one day.
(remembering him, and our Natalie).