When Laying it on the Line isn’t always good for you.

You know, there are times when you’re honest.
You lay it on the line
You bare your soul- heart fully on its sleeve.

I wrote a guest post for Britmums here
You have no idea how painful it was to write it.

People say we’re trying to break the taboo. For us all to talk about it- for those grieving to be able to share.

Check the Twitter feed. See those trying to help.

Despite all of that- do you know after that post this week 1 person commented.
1 solitary person.
I wasn’t expecting a floodgate.
I understand that lots don’t know what to say.
Franglaise Mummy commented. She has no idea just how much that meant.
Tomorrow it’s 7 years since Natalie went to heaven. The timing of the Britmum’s post was strangely timely- despite them not knowing how much.

I’ll think twice next time.
I just might retreat back into my shell.
I’m not intending to moan- guess its just a reminder that opaqueness is less painful.

Maybe I just need to grow a thicker skin.

Again.

xx

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15 thoughts on “When Laying it on the Line isn’t always good for you.

  1. If it makes you feel any better, I rarely get comments on posts I put up on BritMums. People I think read and then perhaps visit your blog more than commenting there (or perhaps I’ve just written crap no one wants to comment on!). I think you have been incredibly brave by putting your hurt out into the world. I recently wrote a post about my miscarriage two years ago, and similarly have had only one comment. We don’t necessarily always write for comments, but it would be nice to have support, especially when it’s something painful. In fact, I have had a colossal falling out with a good friend over it which is really sad. But it is my pain and I needed the closure to write about it. I hope that you keep beautiful memories of your little girl. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been. Very brave you. X

    • Thankyou. Thankyou. It was worth it even just to get your comment. You have made me feel much better. You’re right- I didn’t do it for the comments- but I posted about friendships a week before and got some nice responses. I guess as its the anniversary today I’ve been feeling more sensitive. I shall pop over to your blog and say hello properly this weekend xx

      • I understand completely. Somehow I think people may not know sometimes what words to use for comforting grief, so they read, think of you and send you positivity. It would be impossible not to. Take good care. (Ps – I popped over from #PoCoLo! Pps – would love you to come visit, but I’m not on my WordPress blog any longer but can’t seem to comment otherwise! I’m on my usual space over on http://www.mama-andmore.com) xx

  2. Sending you a big hug hun! I can not imagine what it is like to loose your child.

    I do think sometimes people just dont know what to say. I think a simple ‘Thinking of you’ would have been nice.

    Found you through #PoCoLo

    Laura x x x

    • Thankyou Laura- you’ve made me smile. Thanks for being encouraging- just feeling more sensitive than usual! I’ll pop over to your blog and say hi later x

  3. Been thinking about this a lot since i read both posts earlier. Most blog posts you read and think ‘oh that’s interesting/ funny/ entertaining’ and that makes it easy to leave a comment. Some blog posts knock you sideways and it is impossible to know what to say but you are still thinking about them long after you have left the laptop. For me your posts fall into this category it feels flippant to leave a comment after such a powerful post. xxx

    • Thankyou. Other perspectives are so helpful. You’re completely right. It’s easy to make assumptions that aren’t necessarily well founded. Guess I thought I’d missed the mark a little and maybe people couldn’t relate. We are sometimes more complex when feeling vulnerable. Appreciate you thinking of me & especially commenting 😉 !

  4. It is a fabulous post and I wouldn’t be concerned about not getting many comments, it doesn’t mean people don’t care. It must have been very hard to write and I hope it helped you out in some way. I think it is great you can talk about it and help others who have gone through the same tragedy as you, I am sure it is a comfort so please don’t retreat back into your shell! #pocolo

  5. I did wonder when I commented if you’re supposed to comment there or not as it was a bit unclear, it’s the first time I’ve commented there. It was beautifully written and really reached out to me. Sending hugs and thinking of you at this hard time x

  6. I didnt know we could comment! Lovely post, don’t take it personally. Well done for laying it on the line. Cannot imagine what you have been through. Massive hugs xxx

    • Thankyou. Public ‘wobbles’ are not always recommended- but this one has been really positive. Appreciate so much you taking the time to comment- I was going to return a comment on your blog- do you have one? x

  7. Don’t think twice next time, what you did was incredibly brave and just because one person commented initially doesn’t mean you didn’t reach many, many more. I read the post and have to commend you for your honesty and openness. Thanks for sharing x

  8. Sometimes a post just needs more attention – especially when it is about a subject that’s so important to you. I completely understand how you feel. I think many people don’t comment on posts on BritMums because it isn’t a personal blog space and many don’t know you can. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo. I hope you remembered Natalie in your own special way yesterday xx

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