There has been a recurrent conversational theme recently amongst my friends and acquaintances.
It seems as though many are losing hope, common sense or even the will to continue.
I’m not being flippant, life just gets really tough sometimes.
Kids fight. Dreams are dashed. The ‘who’ you imagined you were/would be turns out to simply be a figment of your imagination. All of a sudden you feel more than just a little lost.
For a community of parents who are supposed to know what they’re doing, understand their kids & be a shining beacon to the newly with-child or parent-wannabees it’s easy to understand why we’re losing our heads a little.
A few years ago I came across a little book that I have scoured Amazon for on many occasions..I have passed it on to many of my friends. (Katrina Kenison- I’ve been responsible for much of your recent profits 😉 !)
She talks about a different way of life. A slower pace, a placing value on the little things, whether it’s encouraging her boys to set the table with care, notice the usually passed by things around us or simply stopping, relishing, enjoying. As Anne of Green Gables would have commented ‘drinking it in’.
Before you all think that my sanity flew out of the crack in my car window that was letting in air amidst the copious rain today, ..when you read this book it makes you have polar responses. Firstly the ‘she does not live my life, a lot of her ideas just simply would not work’ response comes. These thoughts just might end up morphing into a long sigh and a commitment to take at least one thing from the book & maybe even at the very least- to look at your kids with renewed awe for the mystery & amazing thing that is childhood. Whenever I pick that book up (& its been read several times), I remember the value of time spent with our kids, just being, just talking. Sharing & being present.
There is often an phrase meted out..’its quality time, not quantity’ that counts. As my kids get older, I’m not convinced of the truth of that. I need to see them as individuals and needing my care and nurture rather than projects to be shaped.
As little people still very confused about themselves, the world around them and how they fit in. I’m supposed to be their guide & inspiration not simply their organiser & scheduler.
This book takes me back to the core things.
The things I’ve been missing.
Those elements that help restore my sanity and focus & make me breathe more slowly and gently again.
Those little (& big) 5 bodies sleeping upstairs are the most important and precious things I’ve responsibility for & one day they’ll all be gone.
There’s a book entitled ‘Aren’t They Lovely When They’re Asleep’.
But then I need to learn to revel in their worlds again. Regain the wonder that they see around them. Sample some of the fear they feel about lots of new experiences they face & renew the sense that we all feel deep down- the amazing privilege we have of loving & guiding these ‘gifts’ of ours.
We’ve often lost our way as parents when the speed of everything else overtakes us, when the stress of modern daily life simply overwhelms us & the pressure of trying to ‘be’ someone we’re not overrules who we know we should be.
I’m stopping tomorrow. Slowing down. Breathing just a few less breaths.
I’m going to count my blessings & you can guess which 5 things will be coming to mind.
Anyone else searching for their lost sanity too? x